Book Release: Path of a Seeker

CovePathofaSeeker_MediumI have had this book sitting there almost finished for about two years now, so it’s a huge relief to have it out the door and to the printers! Like some of my other works, this book is a collection of articles and essays that I’ve written, though in this case, the focus is on personal spiritual seeking and my own path of pilgrimage.

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Becoming Comfortable in Open Relationships

shutterstock_56046442I’ve been in open relationships of various formats for many years. For a long time I struggled with the label “polyamorous,” but I’ve come to accept it for myself, along with becoming comfortable with how polyamory and monogamy are a spectrum, not absolutes.

This is the essence of what polyamory means for me personally: I have to be able to be not just ok with my partner being with someone else, but genuinely glad for them. I have to be genuinely excited that my partner is happy, and in most cases, happy for the person/people they are spending time with too.

It’s being fully confident that my partner can love me, and other people. And that I can have feelings for more than one person, and those feelings don’t take away from anyone.

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People Will Tell You Who They Are

The older I get, the more I realize that people will show me who they are if I let them. I’ve just had someone who I thought was becoming a close friend dump me via FB message and then block me, and all because his now girlfriend found out about how he lied to her about me.┬áHere’s the context…and before I dive into that, an acknowledgement that I haven’t blogged here in a while. The open relationship I was in and (had posted about) crumbled because of the abuse of my metamour, and my now former partner’s enabling of that abuse not just of himself but of his kids and of me. In the wake of dealing with that heartbreak, I met someone new, and got my heart broken again when I wasn’t ready for it.
For transparency, I’m not naming this person; I do publicly name people who are egregiously abusive. I don’t feel this falls into that category. FWIW, I do wish his girlfriend well and I’m sorry that this hurt her. And if she ever contacts me for fact checking/confirmation, I’m certainly willing to talk to her.
Back to the current situation. So…back in late October I met a guy on an online dating site. He and I really clicked, but we recognized that there were some logistical issues, one being that he smoked, and I have scent/smoke issues. Another was that he was also seeing someone else and was very hopeful for that relationship, but that relationship was not steady/monogamous as of yet. And he and I chatted more and there was chemistry, so we attempted a compromise date in early November. I took an excedrin, he promised to shower as much smoky smell off himself as he could, and he bought an e-cig to use for the day before we went on a date.

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Leadership Issues: Failure to Plan

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This post is both about venting my spleen about issues in my household, and a lesson in Pagan leadership, particularly event organizers. I live on a farm in a rural area, and the top of the silo half blew off in the storm last week and is now bouncing around precariously. Some parts have fallen, the rest needs to come down. I live with my boyfriend and his wife, and it turns out that my boyfriend’s wife (ie, my metamour) is highly emotionally abusive. It’s a complicated situation and the abuse impacts the rest of the scenario.

Getting back to the silo, my partner had a plan for doing this on Tuesday on his day off. (He works third shift on a rotating schedule of 12-hour shifts. This weekend he works Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night, so he’s pretty wiped out by the end of that.) We talked through how I could help with the plan, and waiting til Tuesday gives me time to finish up some of my own backlogged to-do list.

My metamour, however, decided to just do it today on her own. This didn’t go well. But first, the backstory.
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