Reblog: The Perfect Victim

I’m reblogging this post that is an excellent articulation of the cycle of abuse, and it does a great job of also articulating the fallacy of the perfect victim. I know a lot of folks out there are trying to wrap their brains around abuse, and why people stay with their abuser, and how could they be so weak…and also, how could they possibly have been abused if they are larger or stronger or smart or if they talk back. Read this article if you want some insight into that. I, too, am an “imperfect victim.”

“The perfect victim is a white, cisgender, straight woman.  She’s smaller than her abuser, who is a man.  She never says anything cruel or unfair that might “provoke” him.  She’s supportive and loving, meek and gentle.  Her abuser is violently physical, and she finally leaves when he hurts her so badly that it opens her eyes.  She has to protect her children.  Or maybe just herself; that might be okay. She certainly never, ever hits back. She is as rare as a unicorn, and the rest of us, we imperfect victims, are deemed unworthy of compassion and support by comparison. “

http://fat-abi.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-perfect-victim.html

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