I admit it. The first times I’ve heard about an “orgy cabin” at particular Pagan festivals or gatherings, my hackles went up. “Eeew,” I thought. “That can’t be ethical, can it?”
Yes. I’m actually talking about an orgy cabin. A cabin (or tent, or room) at a Pagan (or other) event where people are free to express various kinds of sexual touch and sexual contact. Yes, these things happen.
No, I’ve never been invited to one. (We can laugh about that part later.)
When hearing about group leaders being participants in the orgy cabin, I thought, “Whoa. No way that can be appropriate for a leader, right?” But then I put on my sex positive hat and think about it. If everyone in there is of age and consenting, is freely expressing sexuality inherently wrong?
Over on Pagan Activist blog, I just posted about Sex, Ethics, and Paganism, talking about what it is to be sex positive, and what isn’t sex positive. I ended up with way more than I could fit into one blog post, so I wanted to call out some of the specific techniques that Pagans (specifically, group leaders and teachers) sometimes use that get people wrapped up in sexually nonconsensual situations.
This isn’t just about Pagan community, either–this happens in all sorts of subcultures and small groups where people are afraid to speak up once they realize they’ve been abused. It gets tricky, because these situations sometimes can feel consensual at the time. Continue reading →